me and my brother were talking. we both like the guy, but we both think it will end badly. me, i'm the optimist. i just think he won't be able to change anything, because the system is in place, and the system has procedures in place to deal with a compassionate person in a place of power. my brother, he's the cynic. he just thinks he will be killed. my other brother, he worked for him. he thinks he'll be able to change something. he thinks hope can exist. he's the dreamer. my other other brother? well, he's just trying to survive.

AIDS is funny. not funny haha, but funny. it points to humans and why we are human. it would be very easy to eliminate this disease if one generation gave up their right to do whatever, whenever. but that will never happen, i don't think. my other brother joked about this at a party and a girl didn't think it was funny. that, in itself, was funny.

there is a lawnmower going, making noise. i am thinking of what to eat for dinner. NBC is on the television, and they are talking about China and the Olympics.

i don't know what i'm writing anymore. that's ok. it's probably just a phase.

i get tired easily these days. didn't i always? you tell me. i don't remember. didn't i used to be strong? didn't i have my youth?

why did i start writing songs? when did i even start? was it because i couldn't play real songs, so i had to write my own? will anyone ever listen to my songs without knowing who i am?

there is a Sir Penguin on the television...