the sermon today was about forgiveness.
i have to work on that.
i've been going after revenge for a long time.
i hold prisoners bound.
captive.
i never let them go.
next year should be all right.
shoulds.
and coulds.
i feel bad for being so lucky.
it's all so easy for me.
i guess i did treat her pretty shitty.
i'm sorry for that.
but am i sorry for her or for me?
i can't tell quite yet.
it doesn't seem like i'll ever get the big sleep again.
i'll always have something to say.
even if it's nothing.
i think i'll go investigate my pillow now.