it really hurts when he says that.

this break has been fun. i like to dream. sometimes during the day.

they seem to like me when i don't care if they do or not...it even seems to help if i try to make them not.

conversations about plans has revealed to me that i am a bad man and should not be entrusted with the position of 'boyfriend' at any time. to all reading this, please don't think i will change for you. i won't. it is too late for me. i am a self-proclaimed old man who is past his prime. the latter proclaimed by all.

my grades turned out to be the best i've ever done in college. and it was my hardest semester. just goes to show you that living alone makes me better than i ever was with people. and of course i'm moving in with a roommate next semester. we can't have me doing well...it would upset the balance of things.

i will attempt to write better songs next semester...i think last semester was a good beginning...but i need more. i shall study the beatles for the duration of this break and apply what i learn. i will also stop my pandering.

thank you and goodnight.