dreams only comfort me when i sleep, whereas reality likes to taunt me whilst awake...just a little....just to make me know it knows i know it knows.

i don't think i'll ever learn...so i just listen to the oldies and pretend i lived in the 60s. i may have mentioned this before, but it always feels like i'm not supposed to be in this time...like i missed my window...maybe i just gotta wait a little bit longer...

the show is scheduled...and i'm thinkin only 10 people that i don't know will show up...which is fine by me...i'm not doing it for them anyway...i thought about telling her...but i'm pretty sure she wouldn't show up, and that would just suck...but if she did show, that would be even worse i think...i'd probably choke and run away with my tail between my legs...so i'm just gonna stay silent. i think that's gonna be the plan for all year...just stay silent. you and i know that isn't what i will do, but i'm pretty sure it is what i should do.

speaking of music, i like keith richards...he's just good. calls a spade a spade, as i like to say. i learned to play "Honkey Tonk Women"...and it just feels damn good to play.

Kill Bill vol. 2 comes out tuesday...which only reminds me that i only have 5 steps left...

i can't wait to leave and get lost in the city.