i live my life like i'm some sort of spy. hiding things that maybe shouldn't be hidden. pretending to be characters to keep from being found out. doing things i shouldn't. looking where i'm not supposed to.

i really think i'm crazy. either that, or...nah, that can't be it. i'm crazy.

my lookalike has spoken words of booking our terrible band for more than this one gig...that kinda scares me. no, that's not true. it really scares me. i don't think i would do this if i wasn't doing it just to prove someone wrong...and that is kinda sad.

i really want to go back to school so i can lock myself away without any guilt. actually, that isn't true at all. i really want to go back to school so i can see her again. and when i say "see her" i don't mean see her, i mean see her...with mine eyes. i'm pretty sure i'll still be invited to dinner with friends...maybe...just gotta play it cool, like Fonzie. damn, this is gonna be tough. either way it goes, it's gonna be tough. i don't even think there is an easy way out, otherwise i'd take it.

sometimes i hate thinking like i think...

man...how long has it been now? 4 months? man...i'm fucking crazy.