and the letter went undelivered...just how i planned it...you didn't really think you'd go thru with it, did you?...of course not...but it was nice to imagine the outcome...of course, even if you actually did place it where it was to be placed, it wouldn't have been anything like that...i'm starting to wonder if maybe i'm getting lost in a world only i live in...that wouldn't be so bad...would it?

maybe i will deliver the letter after all...it all depends on how i feel at the moment...if i'm ready for death, i'll do it...nothing left to lose except the memories...