"I wish I was a neutron bomb, for once I could go off.

I wish I was a sacrifice, but somehow still lived on."

as much as i hate to admit it...i think i've changed...not in any big way...but just in the way i think...i used to come up with plans...something i wanted to do...but now...i just don't anymore...no plans...no hopes...no dreams...oh...i have wishes...but i know they're wishes...so they lose their value...

i went out with friends today...i laughed a lot...but i don't think i'm happy...quite the opposite in fact...i think i've given up...on trying to be happy...and so i just go along...i had to drive...i really don't like it...i almost hit a little girl...but stopped in time...that put me in a bad mood for the remainder of the outing...i keep thinking 'what if i hit her?'...i don't think i should drive...i don't trust myself...with anything...i wish i could...

aoryn went with us...i don't know how i feel about this...the whole situation is quite tiring and i wish i could forget about it...she is nice to everyone she meets...too nice...the way she positions herself when talking...she knows what she is doing...she knows...i wish i didn't...

i came home today expecting to be happy...i wish i was.

"I wish I was the verb "to trust" and never let you down.

I wish I was a radio song the one that you turned up.

I wish I wish I wish i was...I guess it never stops"