"I can't let go

Threadbare tapestry unwinding slow

Feel a tortured brain

Show your belly like you want me too"

yeah...this morning...i talked to a girl (need i name names?)...and she explained some things...made other things unclear...said somethings that made me happy...others that made me sad...even though she claims she isn't...i still feel like i'm being led to the slaughter...i don't now...just a gut feeling...instinct...but i never had very good instincts...

a girl in my speech class said i have a nice voice...and then my teacher seconded that opinion...it was quite weird...they were probably just trying to make me feel better because i just told them that i hate public speaking and i hate public speaking...yes...i said it twice...

i have only had 3 hours of sleep today...and i feel fine...

back to what i was originally talking about...yeah...the thing that started our whole conversation was that i "let" somebody hurt her feelings...but it wasn't directly my fault...i was just "slow" in making them stop and apologize...of course i am completely innocent of any wrongdoing...but i guess i'm still responsible for what was said...

why can't i just find a girl who will make me happy instead of sad? (what's that you say?...oh...right...i forgot...silly me...)...apparently they are as rare as great music on mtv...