"Lines form on my face and hands

Lines form from the ups and downs

I'm in the middle without any plans

I'm a boy and I'm a man"

today is my birthday...i turn eighteen...so now i can legally buy porn, cigarettes, and a gun...i think...

so...i have become an 'adult'...i look back...and think, 'dang...i suck'...lets see what i have managed to accomplish before i became a 'man'...

when i was still a 'boy'....i didn't make many friends (moved too much)...i got good grades (but i could have done better)...i willingly alienated myself from the rest of school by playing an addictive card game called magic: the gathering...i never had a girlfriend[technically] (i don't know if this is a good thing or bad thing...)...i further became an outcast by attending chess club (hey...it was fun...kinda)...i formed a ficticious swat team called the b-squad (very fun)...i played high school soccer (and scored the winning goal in a sectional game)...i learned how to play the guitar at 15 or so (i'm still no good...but i'm getting better [i can play stairway to heaven pretty well])...i wasted all of my free time on videogames (starting from infancy)...i have deemed myself "scary" in matters dealing with females (just read my past entries)...i have never gotten into a fight (not a real one anyway)...i failed to achieve the eagle rank in boy scouts (but i didn't want to after i've seen who got it)

that's about it...not very good for 18 years worth of life...i should have at least had some important thing i've done...and i think to myself, do i really want to live another 18 years if they are gonna be like these?...and the answer...yes...for no other reason than to be an annoying factor in the universe...plus something interesting might yet happen to me...i'm due for something cool...

"baby's brain and an old man's heart

Took eighteen years to get this far

Don't always know what I'm talkin' about

Feels like I'm livin in the middle of doubt"