my roommate of my last semester of college got married this weekend. he's a good guy who got a good girl. i got to see my other former roommate as well, who is currently living in arizona with a woman of his own. they followed the typical path for a graduate from purdue's engineering college. graduate. get a job. make money for about 2 years. get married. live a healthy and normal life. good guys, those two. good guys. i didn't know anyone else at the wedding, and since my other friend was in the wedding party, that meant he didn't have the time to hang out with me at the reception, what with giving speeches and stuff. so that left me with a decision. do i sit with the other young people, or do i hide out at an old person's table so i don't have to talk to anyone. i chose the latter. or at least, i tried. a nice young man, leading a group of 4 young people, stole my seat while i went up to get food. i returned to him sitting in my seat, which had a plate and drink on the table in front of it. i shrugged, picked up my drink, told the group they could have it, and moved to the empty end of a table consisting of people roughly my own age. i started with something i figured i should say, to be polite, "hey...you guys mind if i sit over here?" they didn't mind. they started talking amongst themselves, and i followed the conversation from person to person, pretending like i gave a fuck. this apparently went a long way with some of them, and they started to ask me questions about myself...which i answered in my usual cocky-but-self-depreciating manner. i told them about how i had graduated in engineering, but was now in a rock and roll band. i smiled my crooked smile to tell them i didn't really care about anything anymore. as the ladies drank more drinks, and i drank more gin and tonics, we became more sociable, and started to talk as if we actually knew each other. well...they did. i kept up my game, just being friendly enough to not be rude. it was an early wedding, and i had time to drink my drinks, and then leave and drive back home without it ever threatening darkness. as i was walking out, the girls i had been chatting with obviously didn't remember my name, as i had only given it once, and shouted their drunken goodbyes from their car. "goodbye, rockstar!" i smiled and waved them away. on the way home i listened to Blood on the Tracks and Yankee Hotel Foxtrot. it's all right when i keep myself busy...but then there are things like this...or weekends when i'm alone...and then i start to think.