i got a job at village pantry.
i think there's something wrong with living the dream and feeling worthless.
kyle's girlfriend always reminds me of emma. she is humming now. memories are a vile thing. my mom's optimistic words make me want to cry. man...i hate not being happy.

ben has an annoying laugh. he always comes in my room and rummages around...he took my style of speaking. i have to change again. it seems like i always have to change. i hate change. life is change. i don't think anyone will ever understand me except randy. and even then...

i am wasting away. the food i buy isn't meant for eating. it isn't fit for keeping people alive. i have to wake up early again. just like old times. i'm sure my body will revolt. just like old times. i hate my body. the physical makeup of my being is ugly on all levels. it disgusts me.

randy has almost made it out. he is lucky. and then he isn't.

i am mine.