i don't have anything to say, but i think i'm gonna look back on this time later in my life and wonder what i was doing. this is to remind me that i'm not doing a goddamn thing. my old friend is getting married saturday. that's kinda weird. unless i'm forgetting something, this is the first of my friends getting hitched...at least the first one where i'm invited to come along and watch. i'm finally feeling as old as i constantly say i am.

my days consist of me just sitting at my computer for hours on end and watching/listening to music. i surf the net for trinkets of interest. nothing keeps it for long. i chat with people who pretend to know me, and some that actually do. as much as i try not to, i find myself chatting with my former love, too. it's not as bad as i'll make it out to be. i've thought of writing her a letter...one last time...but i don't want to bother her. it's not her fault i'm not what she wants. i did have a good run, i think. lasted longer than some better men. this whole ordeal has taught me one great lesson: i will never succeed at relationships. i'm just too untrust-ing/worthy. i'm never comfortable. but enough of that talk, we already know about it.

graduation looms overhead. 2 weeks? something like that. then one last summer, and then real life. only it won't be very real for me. i'll just try to live a dream. hopefully, i succeed. if not, oh well. i'll go back to being me.

so there you go, posterity...this is how it was. just remember this, I but on some great rock shows in my dorm room.