i'm done with the formal diary for now...but i'll put up my lyrics so i don't forget them...plus they probably tell a story i won't tell you.

__a week in spring__

riding the train to the airport, and i can't get home
riding the train to the airport, and i'm feelin' so alone

sitting next to my girl, but she ain't anymore
sitting next to my girl, but she ain't anymore

standing at the back of a club, while she hugs another guy
standing at the back of a club, and i just wanna die

crying my eyes out, and she flashes me a smile
don't pull the dagger out, leave it for awhile...

__3 verses__

my hair is falling out, i get no sleep
i listen carefully, but i don't hear a peep
my life is ruined, just like the others
and no one can save me, not even my brothers
they haven't seen what i have been thru
they haven't seen what a woman can do

my mouth is dry, my throat is sore
i keep knocking, she won't open the door
my soul is broken, and it will never mend
go for the kill, and i won't defend
i've given up on trying to be him
i've given up on trying to win

my brain is dead, my nerves exposed
i tried to compete and i got hosed
my fingers are raw, my knees scabbed
it sounds like Hell, but it's not that bad
you have done far worse to me
you have done far worse to me

__love letter__

she explained herself clearly
in a nice cordial letter
she still showed she cared
and hoped i'd feel better
i appreciated her kindness
after my mental breakdown
and i did feel better
even though she wasn't around
she asked to still be friends
and i said i'd surely try
to make sure she's happy
and doesn't want to cry
she's the best girl i know
and i enjoyed her love
like an answer to a prayer
sent down from above

it's all gonna be alright

___mind's eye___

a shiver runs down my spine
and then i think of you
mind's eye is always looking
for something else to do
it stubles over some other things
but they number only a few
and i curse myself a thousand years
that i'm still in love with you

a yawn escapes my mouth
and then i think of me
full of cowardice and shit
the way i was meant to be
filling my time with nothing
watching what i shouldn't see
i think i could be great
and then i remember it's me