i don't know what the hell is goin on...neither does she...we've just got a nice fucked up situation on our hands...it wouldn't be so bad if we had a clean break and then went out seperate ways, but we just kinda said....nothing...and that was the problem...

she obviously still likes me and wants to see me...but the time apart and other possibilites could lead to my tragic end...i think lum has the right premonition...i've had the same one...but i still have to do it...because that's how i operate...i use my logic until i reach a breaking point...then i just go on instinct...we'll see if my instincts can finally help instead of hinder.

it would be nice if i had a plane i could just hop in whenever i was bored...fucking fuckworld.

what?