i'm a fucking psychic. i swear, i see things before they happen...probably more to do with logical thinking than any sort of pschic stuff though...well...maybe psychosis.

my feelings are retarded. i respond in expected ways to the stimulus given...i try to stop myself before it happens, but it's no good...too late now to forget addresses and faces...i really fear for my well-being this semester...i'm very close to giving up on everything...i'm so fucking stupid.

it seems like i ruined my life with the choices i've made...at least the important ones, or most of them...

i remember back to what i like to call "the good ol' days"...i wouldn't think about a girl i liked unless she was presently talking to me...otherwise my mind would be focused on some card game, and its inherent strategies, or better yet, a videogame that took me to far off places and different worlds...far away from people who could hurt me...but then i was all like, "hey, i want to be fucking stupid"...so then i started to think about girls all the time...and now i think about women all the time...or one at least...FUCK....damn motherfucking feelings...i wish i could just turn them off, but i can't...and it's only been ONE FUCKING WEEK...not even...damn...i must like doing this to myself...torturing my very existance with constant fantasies ruined by images of other men stealing what is rightfully mine!

and then comes the laughter...when i sometimes can detach myself from my daydreams and laugh at the utterly pathetic behavior of a child...i think i have an attention problem....always craving it...especially from people i love...i blame the military.

please don't pity me, because i don't need it. i can still function in society without anyone to use as a crutch...right, self.....right?

i wish...you know i can't...i know i can't...so what's the point in trying...i'm so dumb...

i think we all know what the solution here is........

I NEED TO JOIN A FUCKING ROCK BAND.