i was looking thru my emails and i stumbled upon one that caught my fancy...i'll post this portion of it...

"I don't want to come visit to see brad, because I don't know brad. you're not ugly either. not remotely. but that shouldn't be the issue. the issue is that YOU invited me, and so I want to come to see YOU."

(big fuckin smirk on my face)

yeah...so that was from an email...the author i'll keep anonymous...but you should know...

and in a related story...i went on a drive yesterday...and thru the 3 hrs roundtrip, i thought...about how all this came about...and some questions popped into my brain...so i'll just ask my audience here...how do you 'fall in love' with a person you've never met?...it's an interesting question...because when i think of loving someone, i think of loving the indescribable things...like their presense...or how they breathe...or stand...something you can't get with pictures or words...or even a voice...interesting...

and in another more related story...i can't even sleep now...my dreams (which were never good to begin with) have turned into nightmares...i wake up now...never did before...but now i wake up...and i just want to scream...i also can't eat anymore...its been this way all week...i try...but i can only down a few mouthfulls...my insides are too messed up to do any digesting...

and though i never would tell anyone how to act, because its their life...ah...nevermind...i won't.

"So don't you let her, Oh, get under your skin

It's only bad luck and trouble, From the day that you begin

I hear you crying in the darkness, Don't ask nobody's help

Ain't no pockets full of mercy baby, Cause you can only blame yourself "