she just left a few minutes ago...and i think my former life left with her...to help explain, we'll go back to the beginning...or at least back to where i think the beginning should be...

becky came to visit me saturday night, around 7.30pm i suppose...it wasn't really for a reason...just to visit an old friend...yeah...and that is what i've been trying to do...trying to reclaim my lost high school days when everything was fun...everything seemed ok...nothing really bad could ever happen to us...we would see each other everyday...and just have fun...every day...and i want that back...but it won't happen...we're growing up now (finally, some would say)...so when becky was here...we met up with nayan and tried to redo some shell of a movie night and watched "fight club"...a really good movie that made me think...but it wasn't the same...nor will it ever be the same as the "good ol' days"...and i think i fully realized and understood what that meant...

"And now my bitter hands cradle broken glass of what was everything.

All the pictures have all been washed in black. Tattooed everything.

All the love gone bad turned my world to black.

Tattooed all I see. All that I am. All I'll be. Yeah."